Friday, May 30, 2008

In the spirit of the upcoming election...

A little Poli-Sci lesson (I like the French Corp style):

DEMOCRAT
- You have two cows.
- Your neighbor has none.
- You feel guilty for being successful.
- Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
- You have two cows.
- Your neighbor has none.
- So?

SOCIALIST
- You have two cows.
- The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
- You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
- You have two cows.
- The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
- You wait in line for hours to get it.
- It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
- You have two cows.
- You sell one, buy a bull, and create a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
- You have two cows.
- The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
- You have two cows.
- The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
- You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
- You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
- Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- You go on strike because you want three cows.
- You go to lunch and drink wine.
- Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
- They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
- Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
- Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
- You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
- While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
- You break for lunch.
- Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- You have some vodka.
- You count them and learn you have five cows.
- You have some more vodka.
- You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
- The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
- You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
- You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
- Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital..

IRAQI CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- They go into hiding.
- They send radio tapes of their mooing.

(As Seen On: White Skinned Goddess)

3 comments:

Liz said...

I think that I'll be French too. That sounds lovely. I could be Italian as well if I can walk around and see beautiful men instead of women. That's how I roll.

John-Arne said...

I'll go with liz when it comes to the Italian. And may I suggest that the lunch includes some nice cheese, cured ham, bread and wine?

Katie Ralph said...

These are great! Having just been in Italy, I appreciate that one, but I have to agree that I like the French one the best! So true!!!