Thursday, August 28, 2008

You always wanted to know who was on Match

So allow me to give you a brief glimpse:

  • The "Passionate Wet Kisses" guy ... Now, sure, a kiss can get a little wet now and again, but do we actually start out hoping it gets all slobbery? Apparently one guy does, and states his desires boldly in his profile.
  • The "Be Adventurous" guy ... A "wink" followed by an email that says, 'Be adventurous, call me {insert phone number}. May I choose Option B: Scuba diving with sharks?
  • The "Atheist" guy ... The one who seems to have ignored my profile completely when I mention something about loving God and Jesus and all that stuff.
  • The "Tired of stumbling home from bars" guy ... Um, yeah. He insists he's a toad (with "bad habits, crooked teeth and too many pounds") waiting to turn into a prince, and that he's hoping to meet a woman to go home to, rather than stumbling home from bars to an empty apartment (with roomates). If I am indeed that woman, is it a requirement that we "stumble home" together?
  • The "Never met a comma I didn't like" guy ... Well, he's adventurous and likes dogs, and he would like to get into photography, so he bought a disposable digital camera, and wants to travel to Ireland, and 'wrts u n txt' mode, and he's really close to his family, lives by the lakefront, did he mention he's an electrician, ...
  • The "Not gay, gay" guy ... No comment other than to reassure you I'm staying away. Very far away.

Thank you, Lauren, for sponsoring my 6-month membership to Match! And yes, I know I asked for this, and yes, I know I must separate the "wheat from the chaff," as it were, but until then, this is fun. Or funny, depending on how you look at it.

8 comments:

Liz said...

Woo Hoo! I am SO excited about this! (I really don't know why I'm the excited one...) I can't wait to hear more funny stories (and the stories that aren't so much funny as they are about the great guy you had dinner with the other night...)

Creative Mama said...

dude. this sounds like FUN! ... enjoy a few crazy ass dates...

Sara said...

Yeah! I have a match buddy. Hope you have fun and can't wait to hear more stories.

DeniseMarie said...

I'm with Liz in saying that I KNOW I'm more excited about this than you are, if only because now I get to hear funny stories like this. But I'm also genuinely hopeful. Wasn't Lauren's Carlos a "Match" find? So there is some wheat in there, lady! Meanwhile, please keep the stories coming so that we all can laugh at the chaff as it blows away in a haze of sloppy wet kisses, romantic walks on the beach, and poorly-hidden Oedipal desire......

kellkellnd said...

Too funny,kell.

Ginger...blue skies tomorrow said...

I laugh out loud reading this - it reminds me that I should be documenting my journey through match on my blog. Keep going friend - if not a match then a lot of entertainment and fun!

Lauren said...

Yay for Match.com! I have it to thank for introducing me to Carlos :) So Kelly, bear with it... yes there are a lot of lame guys, but in a way, that's good because it the good/interesting/solid ones sure tend to stand out. Have fun! I can't wait to hear all about it!

Molly W. said...

you are hilarious! Can't wait to hear more!