Thursday, August 28, 2008

You always wanted to know who was on Match

So allow me to give you a brief glimpse:

  • The "Passionate Wet Kisses" guy ... Now, sure, a kiss can get a little wet now and again, but do we actually start out hoping it gets all slobbery? Apparently one guy does, and states his desires boldly in his profile.
  • The "Be Adventurous" guy ... A "wink" followed by an email that says, 'Be adventurous, call me {insert phone number}. May I choose Option B: Scuba diving with sharks?
  • The "Atheist" guy ... The one who seems to have ignored my profile completely when I mention something about loving God and Jesus and all that stuff.
  • The "Tired of stumbling home from bars" guy ... Um, yeah. He insists he's a toad (with "bad habits, crooked teeth and too many pounds") waiting to turn into a prince, and that he's hoping to meet a woman to go home to, rather than stumbling home from bars to an empty apartment (with roomates). If I am indeed that woman, is it a requirement that we "stumble home" together?
  • The "Never met a comma I didn't like" guy ... Well, he's adventurous and likes dogs, and he would like to get into photography, so he bought a disposable digital camera, and wants to travel to Ireland, and 'wrts u n txt' mode, and he's really close to his family, lives by the lakefront, did he mention he's an electrician, ...
  • The "Not gay, gay" guy ... No comment other than to reassure you I'm staying away. Very far away.

Thank you, Lauren, for sponsoring my 6-month membership to Match! And yes, I know I asked for this, and yes, I know I must separate the "wheat from the chaff," as it were, but until then, this is fun. Or funny, depending on how you look at it.

8 comments:

Liz said...

Woo Hoo! I am SO excited about this! (I really don't know why I'm the excited one...) I can't wait to hear more funny stories (and the stories that aren't so much funny as they are about the great guy you had dinner with the other night...)

Sarah S said...

dude. this sounds like FUN! ... enjoy a few crazy ass dates...

Sara said...

Yeah! I have a match buddy. Hope you have fun and can't wait to hear more stories.

DeniseMarie said...

I'm with Liz in saying that I KNOW I'm more excited about this than you are, if only because now I get to hear funny stories like this. But I'm also genuinely hopeful. Wasn't Lauren's Carlos a "Match" find? So there is some wheat in there, lady! Meanwhile, please keep the stories coming so that we all can laugh at the chaff as it blows away in a haze of sloppy wet kisses, romantic walks on the beach, and poorly-hidden Oedipal desire......

kellkellnd said...

Too funny,kell.

Ginger...blue skies tomorrow said...

I laugh out loud reading this - it reminds me that I should be documenting my journey through match on my blog. Keep going friend - if not a match then a lot of entertainment and fun!

Lauren said...

Yay for Match.com! I have it to thank for introducing me to Carlos :) So Kelly, bear with it... yes there are a lot of lame guys, but in a way, that's good because it the good/interesting/solid ones sure tend to stand out. Have fun! I can't wait to hear all about it!

Molly W. said...

you are hilarious! Can't wait to hear more!